Friday, 6 February 2015

College Admissions Essays that Take 1st Place -A Personal Statement Checklist

Congratulations on your move toward a college degree. And congratulations on seeking support for writing your admissions essay/personal statement. The squeaky motor gets the oil, so you will be slick and running sleekly in a just a few days…in plenty of time to submit and relax before transferring from a community college or crossing over from high school to higher learning.
While the application and entry process is exciting, it is also rigorously demanding… when it comes to writing the prompted essays. But instead of getting intimidated, remember, it is a process with a series of many laps around the track. Do the steps one at a time, on time, and even ahead of time; be just as rigorous as the entry requirements are; and use the following as a checklist throughout the entire personal statement writing process, and you will create a worthy piece of writing that will smoothly slide you right into the institution of your choice.
1. Use that fine machine (your head): get ahead, start ahead.
___Start early. If the application and essay are due in three months, start working on it in two.
2. Start small.
___If the task seems overwhelming, choose an easy, quick, or interesting part of the task. Then you will have a momentum that will push you forward into the larger, more time consuming tasks. For example, you know your name, address, and (maybe) what you want to major in. Fill out the application.
3. Read X3 before you start to build.
___The first time, read the directions and the prompt choices for the personal statement(s) you have to write as if you are reading a magazine for fun.
___The second time, read the prompt choices as if you are reading a catalog and shopping for the one (best) item (prompt). Choose the one topic that you feel you have the most to write on, the one you like, the one you are drawn to.
___The third time, read with a highlighter or pen: highlight or underline the key words in the prompt’s introductory sentences and the key action words (those words that tell you to do something). For example, if the prompt reads as follows, you would mark it like this [I use brackets here for highlighting]:
…Is there [anything] you would like us to know [about you or your academic record] that you have not had the opportunity to [describe] elsewhere in this application? What is [your intended major]? [Discuss] [how your interest in the field developed] and [describe] any [experience you have had in the field] - such as volunteer work, internships and employment - and what you have gained from your involvement….
4. Make notes…and make them visible.
___You now have the (five, here) parts to list on a big piece of paper or cardboard that you then prop up or tape up on your wall or pc. (I always do this—tape the required points on my computer; then I can constantly refer to it as I am writing. It keeps me on track—on topic.)
5. Consider your audience.
___As with any writing, you decide your tone based on who will be reading the work. In this case, you are submitting to a committee of readers who read stacks and stacks of these things. So…
6. Be real. Be honest. Be engaging. Be positive. Be fresh.
I know, I know. I hate it too when someone tells me to be myself. (Who else would I be?) The point is to avoid pretense, avoid b.s. (lies), and avoid whining, begging, and angry, bitter, resentful tirades. 
The readers want to know who you are, how you would fit, and what you would bring to the university.
___Brainstorm a list of true details, writing them on the left side of a piece of paper. On the right side, note next to each item how that makes you a perfect candidate for the place. (The left side is negative, too. The right side is the balance, turning the negatives into positives.)
7. Engage.
Granted, when we writers begin drafting, we may not necessarily begin with the opening paragraph. We scribble the lines we remember, the body, the conclusion, topic sentences, important buzz words, or anything else that comes to mind. But when you do get to the opener, it must be as outstanding, alluring, inviting, and original as possible.
I promise I know what I’m talking about here. As a/an (former) Associate Professor of college English, I assisted hundreds of students with both graduate and undergraduate application packets and processes—teaching workshops on the entrance essays, tutoring students in the complete process in the colleges’ learning centers, even receiving students in my home (where they still continue to approach me for consultation and support).
So I have seen/see many students get accepted to Berkeley, Cornell, Stanford, State, and other private and public institutions—based on their essays, which I helped them to write and (ugh) rewrite using the standards and guidelines of the major institutions of higher learning (and this handy manual of caveats I have compiled over the years). And those essays start with unique, engaging intros—that follow these tricks:
___Get rid of all abstractions (now also considered clichés in the academic arena…since they have been driven into the ground by overuse). Avoid using the “success” “achieve” “lifelong dream” terms, words, and phrases. The panel knows you want/need these. They expect it is a given, and would probably have group heart attacks if someone wrote he/she was applying to be unsuccessful, to achieve nothing, and to listlessly idle, having no dream whatsoever. (Okay, you get my point, right?)
___Erase the “I am an immigrant who needs to make my parents proud” clichés. (I promise you, this strategy is empty and useless. I have received students needing entry essay help who are immigrants, children of immigrants, products of immigrant DNA, victims of immigrant mentality….every first draft I read started with this kind of intro. And I’ve only helped about 500 students with this exact same opener. Imagine the weary tsk-ing and head shaking of the board member who reads thousands!)
The bottom line is this: asking to be admitted because you experienced—and are slamming the board with—a number of boo-hoo poor me hardships is the same as going to a job interview and answering questions about what skills you bring to the job by crying that you need to feed your kids. How does your need qualify you? It doesn’t.
___And/or, forget the “I was neglected, abused, poor, hungry, ugly, fat…” opener. Same lecture as above applies here, too. Unless…
___You can turn the negative into a positive. If you have to be real, and the victim thing is part of your story, show how that pain/struggle/torture contributed to who you are today and to what you bring to the school. But do it later in the essay and do it in passing, in mention, in brief…and then move on. So, how do you open a personal statement?

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